Milorad Blagojevich
Milorad R. Blagovich is a corrupt Democratic politician, and thus the only corrupt politician you should pay attention to. This ever so charming Serbian infiltrated the Illinois state government by posing as governor. His cover was blown when he confessed to making up his middle initial, R., in honor of his father Radisa Blagojevic (It is a well known fact that Serbs have no middle name). Rod, as he is better known, is a very generous man, who often donates slabs and slabs of cash to people he likes, such as his fellow Soviets and mooslims. Corruption Charges As the governor of Illinois, Rod was given the duty to appoint a replacement for fellow mooslim Barack Hussein Obama in the Senate. He then tried to sell the seat for personal profit, an act so corrupt that the Illinois Democratic Party asked him to resign. Let me repeat, the Illinois Democratic party - whose past members have included Richard J. Daley and Dan Rostenkowski - feels Blago is too corrupt for them. This sets a new standard for corruption to which all others must bow. Link to Barrack Husein Obama Federal prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald said no allegations were being made that Obama was aware of any alleged scheming by Blagojevich. However, Papa Bear and Sean Hannity know that Fitzy's statements are just part of The Vast Left-Wing Media Conspiracy meant to protect the decider-elect. The Governor worked with Tony Rezko, who supported Obama; they are obviously linked, according to the established scientific equation Association=Obvious Guilt Squared. Blogojevich also tried to extort $50,000 from Children's Memorial Hospital in Chicago to please Obama because he hates children. Perhaps most damning of all, they are both Chicago Bears fans. B-Rod and F-Bombs As part of the case against Blagojevich, Fitzgerick released transcripts of some of B-Rod's wiretapped conversations which were filled with epletives. Along with setting the new standard for corruption, the Governor has also set a new standard for swearing while being recorded to which all others must also bow. Notable quotes include but are not limited to: "It's a 'bleeping' valuable thing. You just don't give it away for 'bleeping' nothing." "I've got this thing and its bleeping golden, and, uh, uh, I'm just not giving it up for effing nothing." The FBI says it heard Blagojevich complain he has to give this "motherf***er President-elect his Senator. F*** him. For nothing? F*** him." Brass Balls Recently, Blagojevich has learned the ways of mavericks; he has gone against the wishes of his fellow Democrats by growing a pair of "brass balls". He choose his new black friend as the new Senator of Illinois, even though his party told him not to do so! He may be a Democrat but by God!!! We salute you, sir, for growing a pair of "brass balls"!! http://www.week.com/news/local/36899069.html Life After Politics Mr. Blagosonofaviatch tried his best to convince the liberal media that he was innocent, that his persecution was a liberal conspiracy to replace him. Evidence suggest that Mr. Blagoshutehfukupvitch did everything what a liberal democrat was suppose to do; he healed the sick, he gave away cheap medicine, he performed miracles, and he robed from the children but his fellow democrats decided against crucifying him, instead they just fired him. But luckily Mr. Blagowhatthehellisthisvitch was given a chance in life... tv life that is. If his reality Tv show becomes successful, he is thinking of pursuing an acting career... Facts *Blagojevich's removable hair snaps on to the top of his head, much like a lego man's, or inspector gadget's hair would. *He's got this bleeping thing, and it's worth a lot of bleeping something. *Will not resign until he catches the real Blagojevichers. *Barnstormed as a member of The SpitzRods. It was a rival team of maverick, openly heterosexual scandalists. *Puts the asses in the bleeping seats. *Is dying to talk to you about his crazy deals on genuine leather Senate seating! *He was once young like us! Blagoegomaniacalviatch's BFFs Blagoshutthefukupviatch loves to make friends, he has all sorts of friends. He has black friends, joowish friends, mafia italian friends, corrupt political friends. It is because he has this diversity of corrupt, megalomaniacal, and lunatic friends that he has been accused of corruption and immorality... and this is just from the democrat's side! * Roland Burris is his black friend * Geraldo Rivera is Blago's newest BFF! December, 2008 Charges * Notes * Full and official criminal complaint (pdf) * Blago's balls just grew three times its size * Senator Oprah? Racist Democrats say no way! * Blagojevich: Corrupt Madman Or Psychopathic Genius? * Blagoodridancevitch the Myth (According with liberals, he never existed, he was just a myth) * Blagojevich Claims Behavior Was Just Elaborate Plan To Surprise Patrick Fitzgerald With Senate Nomination On His Birthday (We believe this was his real motive, it comes from a very "reliable" source...) Blagosonofabiatch's TV show * Blago gets a second season, ratings over the roof *Blagosonofabitch demands government investigation on friend's death *Hairmonster Invades Illinois: The Movie *Blagosonofabitch knows how to use the google defense! *Blago to star in new show: Blago's Apprentice! Notes